Father & Son: Book two of the Jensen Family Series Page 3

  “It is a lovely house.” Helen said.

  “And it’s in a good position.” Carmen added.

  “What did you mean when you said that you could divide it?” Helen asked.

  “Well, you could keep some common rooms but up here at least, I could make it like two apartments, both of you could have en suites if you take the larger two bedrooms.” He backed up towards the front of the house as he spoke, gesturing to the two large bedrooms either side of the hall “The boys could have the smaller rooms and share the family bathroom or if that isn’t what you want, we could work something else out.”

  “Could we both have en suites and leave the rest of the upstairs as it is?” Helen mused.

  “That would be easier.” Paul confirmed “I can’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work.”

  “Other than the fact that you are useless when it comes to plumbing.” Carmen pointed out.

  Paul smiled, wiped his grubby hands down his jeans and stepped closer to her, his arms circling her waist “True but as I’ve told you before, those things aren’t for you to worry about.” He pressed his lips to hers “It also means that I have a plausible excuse to stay here when Mum starts nagging me about going home.” He added.

  “Alright you two, either give it up or get a room.” Helen tutted but she was smiling, she liked having Paul around. “What do you think Carmen?”

  “I think, if you are really alright with selling your house and provided our offer gets accepted, we would be stupid not to go for it.”

  Helen put her house on the market the second their offer was accepted and the two women began packing the non essential items. Paul spent his seventeenth birthday with them for which Helen baked a cake and Monica paid a flying visit to give her son his gift and to re-acquaint herself with her Grandson. Only to ruin the weekend by insisting that Paul return home with her, she left somewhat upset by his refusal the next day.

  By this time, Gavin was almost three months old, a routine had been well established within the household and although as an extended family they functioned well, things between Paul and Carmen had deteriorated further.

  Paul gave up asking Carmen for sex, he gave up the intimate touches with which he would try to turn her on, they barely even kissed anymore. He resigned himself to waiting for her to be ready, promising himself that he wouldn’t cheat on her even though his regular visits to the local gym afforded him plenty of opportunity and while he did understand that the thought of sex was actually terrifying her at the moment, it didn’t help his frustration, he still found her incredibly attractive and his groin would stir every time she undressed in front of him earning him a dirty look and quite literally the cold shoulder.

  He resigned himself to self pleasuring but even this didn’t go as planned, it seemed that every time he had five minutes alone, Carmen would walk in on him, she would tut in disgust and tell him to stop so he took to hiding out in the bathroom instead of chancing getting caught in the bedroom to no avail, Carmen cottoned on to what he was doing and would bang loudly on the door, demanding to be let in.

  “For God’s sake woman, just give me five minutes alone.” He eventually lost his temper and raised his voice.

  “You are disgusting.” She shouted back.

  “No. I’m not. I’m just performing a function that you won’t do for me.” He retaliated.

  “What do I have to do to get you to understand how I feel?”

  “I understand, I do, but you won’t even kiss me anymore. I have needs Carmen. I’m seventeen years old and my sex drive is way through the roof, I’m frustrated and I’m only doing this to stop me from pestering you.”

  “Perhaps if you didn’t pester me I would come around to the idea quicker.” She sniped.

  “Yeah? Perhaps if you let me have the odd wank in peace, I wouldn’t pester you and let you come around to the idea in your own time.” He hissed.

  “You’re male, you will never understand how it feels after a baby is born.”

  Paul raked his fingers through his hair “I cannot believe you are pulling that old chestnut again. I’ll give you all the time in the world, surely you know me well enough by now to know that, but a little bit of affection every now and then would be very much appreciated, I’m not sure you are even capable of that anymore.” He spat, he didn’t give her the opportunity to reply before grabbing his gym bag and heading for the door.

  Chapter Three

  He attacked the weights with vigour and quickly regretted the decision not to warm up completely as his chest muscles began to scream in protest. He had to admit defeat when he felt the right side of his chest seized under the strained muscle and sat, hunched forward, clutching the injured muscle, only leaving the gym on the advice of the resident trainer who told him to sit awhile in the sauna and then to take a gentle swim before going home.

  The heat of the sauna ironically helped to cool his temper; he stayed there quite some time until he felt his bad mood fade and grew tired of the sweat streaming down his body. Leaving the sauna, he stepped under the poolside shower before taking a slow stroll to the deep end and diving in.

  Surfacing, he pulled in a lung full of air and settled into an easy front crawl, reaching the shallow end and standing up and that was when he saw her, the buxom brunette that he had first met when he accompanied Helen, Luke and Carmen to the pool, what now seemed like years ago when Carmen was still pregnant. He had had several conversations with this girl since and quickly realised she was only after one thing, she hadn’t batted an eyelid when she tried to tell him her name and he had told her that names would only complicate things in the long run, she had simply smiled and said “Ok” before swimming away, resuming their conversation the next time they met in the pool.

  Glancing over her shoulder as she opened her locker, she smiled when she saw him follow her into the changing room, dropping her towel as he got closer. Paul bent to pick up the towel and held it out to her, keeping a firm grasp on the corner he held so that she drew him towards her when she tried to take it from him. She laughed softly and turned back to her locker; he heard a zip opening but couldn’t see what she was doing. He took a step back as she turned fully towards him, his gaze drifting down over her body encased in a one piece swimsuit which could prove problematic, it barely covered her breasts, her hardened nipples obvious in the chill of the changing room, looking lower he could clearly see the dent of her navel and lower still, the cleft between her legs.

  Dragging his gaze back to her face, he smiled at her, his hand closing around the one she held in front of him, a single condom held between her fingers, an eyebrow raised in expectation. His initial thought of pulling her into one of the family changing cubicles was superseded by the notion that it was too obvious a move and the staff there would more than likely spot them as those cubicles were poolside, he instead guided her to a single changing cubicle in the centre of the changing rooms and out of view of the pool, the small size of it working to his advantage, he didn’t want her to move much, it wasn’t necessary for what he had in mind.

  Shooting the bolt home, he prised his wet swimming shorts down from his hips and wasted no time in covering his erection with the condom. During this time, the bouncing brunette freed her breasts from her costume and eased aside the crotch, she wrapped a hand around the back of his head and guided his mouth to one pert nipple as he stepped closer, gasping as his fingers stroked and delved into her wetness while nibbling on her breast.

  Quickly coming to the conclusion that this girl was as ready as he was, he pushed her back against the melamine wall of the cubicle and lifted one of her legs. Her free foot she raised to stabilise herself on the small built in bench as the young stud in front of her rammed home.

  Paul expected the guilt to hit him on the short walk home but it didn’t. He thought that perhaps it would kick in once he actually got home but no, nothing. Hearing Carmen’s voice and Luke’s giggle he headed upstairs, certain that guilt would kick him in the nuts when he s
et eyes on Carmen.

  Standing in the doorway of Luke’s room, he watched as Carmen read aloud from the book on her lap, making different voices for each character and causing Luke to squirm in fits of giggles. He took a moment to analyse his feelings. Did he feel any affection for the woman in from of him? Certainly. Was he feeling guilty for having sex with someone else, nope, he felt satisfied for the first time in a long time, he felt relaxed, at ease but he most definitely didn’t feel guilty about it. Did he still love her? Hmm, that was the question he hadn’t really wanted to ask, afraid he would have to be honest with himself and admit that he no longer had any deep feelings for her, they had all been transferred to his son.

  Spotting Paul in his doorway, Luke began to jump up and down on his bed, shouting “Pa. Pa” his name for Paul, unable to actually pronounce his name yet, making Carmen turn to watch him walk into the room. She was still seething at him and didn’t return the smile he directed at her.

  “Hey bud.” He lifted Luke from his bed. “Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?” He asked as the boy jumped up and down in his arms.

  “Yes he should but Helen gave him biscuits before she left and now he’s on a sugar high. I can’t get him to sleep.”

  “Where has she gone?”

  “On a date. Her first one since he was born.”

  “Well, you can’t begrudge her that. I’m going to have a soak in the bath, I’ll take Luke with me and get him to wind down in the bubbles.” He told her, avoiding eye contact and concentrating on the blond bundle in his arms. “Is Gavin alright?”

  “He’s fine, sound asleep. We need to talk.” She responded.

  “After my bath.” He said over his shoulder.

  With Luke finally settled and after checking on his son, Paul walked downstairs to face the music and was met with Carmen clutching a large glass of wine which was clearly not her first, she lifted her legs onto the sofa as he entered the room, preventing him from sitting next to her, forcing him to sit in the armchair opposite her. He hated this chair. It didn’t match the sofa and had short stubby legs making it low to the ground and extremely uncomfortable for his long legs as he either had to scrunch them up under the chair or stretch them out in front of him, it also put him a full head and shoulders lower than Carmen.

  She glowered at him over her wine glass, expecting him to start the conversation but he just sat back, stretched his legs out in front of him, laced his fingers across his stomach and stared at her.

  “Are you going to walk out every time we have a disagreement?” Carmen asked taking a large gulp of wine.

  “No, but then again, I don’t intend to argue with you anymore.” He sat forward “I want to be with you Carmen but not like this. We used to be so good together.”

  “You used to show some tenderness and patience, since Gavin has been born, that seems to have gone out of the window.” She accused.

  “I could throw that straight back at you.” He answered.

  “All you want from me is sex.”

  “That’s unfair. Perhaps I did expect things to go back to the way they were after Gavin was born but I quickly realised they wouldn’t. I was wrong to pressure you but equally, you didn’t give me the space I needed to deal with it and honestly Carmen, I can get sex anywhere, I wanted it with you.”

  “So what are you saying? That unless things improve with us, you will go elsewhere to fulfil your needs?”

  “I won’t intentionally go looking if that’s what you’re getting at, but at some point I’d say it’s going to happen.” He replied honestly, consoling himself with the fact that technically, he wasn’t lying.

  “Where do we go from here?”

  “I don’t know. I want to be here. I want to be in Gavin’s life. I’m not convinced that by staying together we are doing the right thing.”

  “But what about the house and everything here?”

  “The other house is within weeks of being finished, I have removal people on standby and I’m here aren’t I? Everything will be perfect with the house when you are ready to move in, Helen has a buyer for this place, it’s just a case of tying up a few lose ends and I will deal with that. As far as we go, I think we just need to give each other a little space. I’ll camp out in Gavin’s room to give you a breather; you let me know when you are ready to have another go at us.”

  Carmen was silent for a while, contemplating everything he had said. She didn’t doubt for one second that he would support her and be there for their son, he hadn’t failed her yet and had done everything he said he would, but he had just told her that he could and would go elsewhere for his physical pleasure and she would not tolerate that. He was right when he said they needed space from each other, in her opinion, they needed a lot of space.

  Paul watched Carmen as she mulled over what had been said and he felt decidedly uncomfortable, like his future was being decided for him. The feeling of dread deepened when she finally looked up at him.

  “I think you should leave.”

  “Leave? What? Why?”

  “We aren’t working Paul and like you said, we both need some space. You sleeping in Gavin’s room isn’t enough space for me. I need you to leave. Go home.”

  “Just like that?” He asked.

  “Just like that.” She confirmed.

  “What about Gavin?”

  “You can visit any time you want.”

  “Thanks!” He spat “Because it’s oh so easy for me to get here and you live just around the corner.” He scrambled out of the chair, his voice thick with sarcasm as he glared at her while pacing.

  “You don’t need to be facetious.” She told him “It would be better for you to go home and spend some time with your family, maybe after we are all settled in the new house, we can review where we’re at and take it from there.”

  “It’s going to make it a little difficult for me to be a part of my son’s life when you live four hours away.”

  “Difficult, yes. Not impossible. You’re nothing if not resourceful; you will find a way to overcome the distance. I won’t ever try to stop you from seeing him”

  Paul stopped suddenly in his pacing and turned to face her. “Damn fucking right you won’t stop me. I will haul you over the coals to get access to him. I have the resources and I won’t hesitate to use them.”

  “Do not threaten me little boy.” She hissed, her eyes narrowing as she threw herself off the sofa and closed the gap between them. “I will make every effort to make Gavin available for your visits but I will act in his best interests and if I feel you are upsetting his routine, I will put a stop to it and there won’t be a damn thing you can do about it.”

  “Huh, I beg to differ, he is my son, he bears my name, I will fight for him.” He growled.

  “He may be your son and he has your name for now, that can be changed.”

  “Not without my permission it can’t. Don’t push me Carmen.”

  “Christ. This isn’t how I wanted this to go. I thought you would be glad to leave.”

  “And leave my son behind? You thought I would be glad about that? You are one sick and twisted lady.” He turned towards the hall door.

  “That’s right, walk away, it’s what you always do.” She mocked.

  “I’m doing what you asked me to do. I’m going home and I’m walking away so that I don’t say something I shouldn’t. Do me a favour and leave me in peace to pack my bags.” He took the stairs two at a time, grabbing the two holdalls he had brought with him; he began methodically packing his clothes into them, waiting until he was calmer before calling home and asking Monica if he could come back.

  Bags packed and sitting in the hall, Paul climbed the stairs again and went into the room occupied by his son. Reaching into the cot, he swept the sleeping infant into his arms and settled into the rocking chair in the corner of the room, memorising every tiny feature, his weight, his scent and holding him fiercely before reluctantly kissing the soft down on his head and returning him to his cot when he hear
d the horn from the waiting taxi sound.

  “See you soon son.” He whispered. He nodded a curt goodbye to Carmen as he left the house, his gut in knots, his heart hammering; he hadn’t known it would be so hard to leave his boy. He paused on the doorstep, torn. He didn’t want to go but with the way things stood, he felt he had no other option open to him.

  In the taxi on the way to the train station, Paul brooded about leaving his child before coming to the conclusion that the space would probably do both Carmen and him the world of good or it would prove that they were too broken to fix, either way, he would have an answer on which way their relationship was going. Sadly, Gavin would be a casualty of their failings but he wouldn’t let the boy down, not now, not ever.

  It was late, very late by the time he arrived home. He didn’t get a chance to use his key in the lock as the door was flung open and Monica pulled him into her arms.

  “Are you alright?” She asked.

  “I’m fine Mum.” He smiled “Can I come in or are we going to spend the rest of the night on the doorstep?”

  Monica stepped back and allowed him into the house offering to feed him while she fussed over his bags, asking him what had happened and why was he home?

  “It was just time to come back.” He shrugged.

  “What about Gavin?”

  “I’ll shoot up at the weekends to see him if I can, might be a couple of weeks from now though, I have a lot of catching up to do.”

  “You haven’t left for good then?”

  “No. I won’t shirk my responsibilities Mum. I’m well aware that I have to take care of him and I will always be a big part of his life, I can assure you of that.” From there Paul insisted that he was tired from his journey and wanted to go to bed.

  Surveying the lump that was his sleeping brother in the bed on the far side of the room, Paul ruefully thought that he had taken a huge step back. He had gone from living with his girlfriend and child to returning to his parent’s house, tail tucked firmly between his legs. Having to tow the line again and obey his father’s rules was going to seriously cramp his style. Heaving a deep sigh, he slowly undressed and climbed into bed.